Most people use generic names for things every day. Some of the more famous ones are Frisbee, Coke and Band-Aid. Names that were once used as a product name have become so common place they have become “the” product no matter who makes it. That copier in your office is made by Cannon but what it makes is a “Xerox.” Hook and loop fasteners for fabric are made by many different manufacturers but it will always be Velcro.
This phenomenon got me thinking about people’s names and how over time, we have Genericided people’s names. This is done mostly to make us look like we can remember who the heck they really are.
Generic Names are the names you use when you can never remember the person’s real name. “Hey, hey, Guy, how’s it going?” There are several of them. Guy is a good starting point but it can be made more colorful with “Big Guy”. “Whoa, Big Guy I haven’t seen you for a while.” However if the no-name person has a bit of belly and just finished knocking back a strawberry milkshake from Jack in Box – you have probably forced the guy into visiting Weight Watchers and joining a gym.
These names can work across gender lines like instead of using “Guy” you can use “Girl.” This is especially useful if you live in urban areas. “What’d you do to your hair, Girl?” You can throw “Girl” at the end of just about any sentence and you are good to go. What you cannot do is the “big” part. In my experience, “Hey Big Girl”, has just never gone over well.
These names have evolved over time. What was likely someone’s actual name Bud, had become generic in Buddy or as one of my friends has adulterated it to; Bubbs. Not really endearing but it works better than that blank look on your face.
Another friend mutated the friendly term of “Chum” all the way to the lowly “Chumley”. Let’s just say it’s just a little patronizing when you are called the name of a dim-witted walrus from 1960’s cartoon.
A clever way to disguise this name forgetfulness on your part, is to use –“He”. As in “There He is.” You can slap the guy on the back and instantly they feel welcome. Innocuous in its delivery “he” or “she” works and no one is the wiser.
Some names work better at certain locations. You can use “Governor” if you’re out in an English pub or use “Chief” anywhere but at an Indian casino. Boss is another one that people use quite often but it can be misconstrued as demeaning. If you meet the CEO of your company in the hall and he calls you “Boss” it’s one of two things. The first and most likely reason –he has simply forgotten your name completely. Which in most cases is not all that good, but it could be worse. The other reason is to subtlety let you know there is a “boss” in the room and it ain’t you!
“Superstar” is just downright condescending. Unless you are Beyoncé, you know you are no superstar – and so does the offender – it just doesn’t need to be said.
“Tiger” is another one that is somewhat belittling. You’re going on and on about what a jerk a co-worker is and someone says – “Easy, Tiger.” They might as well say, “Take it easy loser, you’re no better than he is.”
We as adults have a whole slew of generic names for children. Heck, most people can’t remember the names of their own children, let alone someone else’s. That leads us to use names like, Sport, Kiddo and Little Fella or Little Chief.
An amusing name that started off as an affectionate term but has changed dramatically is “Pal”. If used properly it can still be a positive term. “This is my long time, Pal.”
However, these days the generic name, Pal, is mostly used derogatorily. Take for example you are sitting in the cafeteria and some guy at the table goes on and on about what a stupid neck-tie you’re wearing. Then he asked you, could you please pass the salt? You will likely answer with, “Get it yourself, Pal.” Or when someone cuts you off during your commute, you wave your hand upwards and say, “Thanks a lot, Pal!” (That is going out on a limb that you are not swearing and throwing pennies at them but I think you get what I’m saying.)
Once I had someone call me “Tebby” instead of Terry. It was written in a birthday card. I looked at it again and again to see if I didn’t read it right. Was it possible that they mis-wrote the two “r’s” for two “b’s”? Was I just mis-reading it? No mistake – it was Tebby. The worst part of it, it was my grandmother! I know, I know I have issues – but I’m working through them.
Maybe she didn’t like that we called her “Gimmie”. That wasn’t my fault. That name was made up by my older brother, Tim when he could barely talk. Gimmie. (Now we know what he saw in his grandmother. GIMMIE!… Gimmie something!)
If Gimmie didn’t like her generic name, she didn’t take it out on the precious “first child”. Oh No. She is sitting there one day addressing a birthday card and says to herself. “What is that third boy’s name? Te…? I know it has two letters in it... Tebby! Yes, that must be it, Tebby.”
I stupidly confided this little known fact to one of my friends. To this day most of his notes to me are addressed to, Tebby, or sometimes even Tebbs.
The only thing I have to say to Gimmie is, “Thanks a lot, Pal.”
